Today is October 29th, its Tuesday... I had a brand new color client named Sarah this morning, she was really sweet... its nice to meet people you click with immediately... we did auburn with highlight all over and cut her hair to her shoulders.  Then I came home and started doing dishes and cleaning and ate some leftover enchiladas, my back was hurting so bad that i took a bubble bath and it was uncomfortable ive got to buy a bath pillow, then James came home and I saw a post about all these moms that are so excited for their childbirth and it got my mind thinking about it since its only 3 months away and it gave me so much anxiety that i just started crying, the fear of the unknown is really getting to me.  I'm 27 weeks pregnant and i love Ellison so much already but I'm so scared of tearing and contractions.  So i think its best that i go to all the classes baptist hospital has to offer and since Leah and her husband are attending the newborn care class next thursday and its only $35 I decided to sign james and i up for that one, and we may go to one the next thursday after that on breastfeeding.  They also offer childbirth which no doubt ill be attending that one since that is where all my anxiety is stemming, and also a CPR class which my friend vic wants to go with me too since she has a little girl and doesn't know cpr.  I think it will give me some peace of mind to gain as much knowledge on parenting as possible. She will be here in 13 or 14 weeks and I'm ready to meet her but Im so not ready for the pain that comes with birth and the sleepless nights... also a little nervous about post partum since its so common in people who have experienced depression before.  I know everything will work out, but my anxiety got the best of me today.